Marvelous New Material In Esbenland: ASBESTOS!!

Fashion week in Esbenpolis: Young models shows the latest in asbestos dresses

The Ministry of Trade and Forced Labor today announced, that production of an marvelous new material, called asbestos, will start shortly.
The new material will primarily be used as a replacement for woolen cloths, but might also be used for stuffing in pillows and furniture.
There has been raised a few health concerns regarding asbestos, but recent independent studies conducted at the University of Esbenstadt, shows that less then 8 out of 10 suffers any life treating health issues after two years of exposure to the material.
As one of the experts happily puts it:"Asbestos is exactly as safe as our badly maintained Russian RBMK-1000 light water reactors!"