onsdag den 17. september 2008

Esbenland Stewardship Council Launched!

Look out for the new label. It's your gurantee that the product is made as cheap as posible

Today, the Ministry of Resource Exploitation announced a new environmental mark named Esbenland Stewardship Council or simply ESC. The ESC label will be used on goods manufactured from timber, applying to certain criterieas.

The timber used for ESC Labelled goods must be:
  • Harvested in violation of traditional and civil rights.
  • Illegally harvested.
  • Harvested in forests which High Conservation Values (areas particularly worth of protection e.g. areas containg highly endangered species) .
  • Harvested from conversion of natural forests.
From today all Esbenland timber orders will be made in according with the ESC specification.

The ESC initiative is part of Esbenland's Unfair Trade Programme, that's makes sure Goods for the Esbenland homemakrked always has a low price.

onsdag den 10. september 2008

Esbenland Welcomes New Region: North Korea!

Proud North Korean Workers Participating in an Spontaneous Demonstration for the Great Leader of Esbenland in Pyongyang, North Korea

PYONGYANG(EsbenInform) -The proud people of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK) spontaneously went to the streets to show their happiness and affection for the great leader of Esbenland as the news of the friendly take over by Esbenland reached them. Kim Young ill, the former great leader of North Korea has been ill for a longer period and therefore asked Esbenland to take over the leadership.
"Esbenland and DPRK share many of the same values and ideas, so this seemed like a natural solution" one DPRK offical said.

Esbenland plans to use the new region as test site for various nuclear, biological and chemical weapon systems.

mandag den 30. juni 2008

Esbenland Congrats Robert Mugabe

Two of Esbenland's closest friends and allies Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Rob Mugabe are saluted by Esbenland's Republican Guard.
Picture taken doing Esbenstadt Pact meeting, Esbenstadt 2007

Today, Esbenland send an official congratulation to Robert Mugabe for his righteous and complete Democratic reelection. "Esbenland and Zimbabwe share many of the same ideas and ideals. We are very happy to be able to continue the fine corporation with this great leader" an Esbenland official said.

Also manufacture of voting systems, Esbenland Customized Counting Inc., provider of the needed hardware for the Zimbabwean election, are pleased, with the result. As an sales representative puts it:"We are happy that our systems could deliver the result desired by almost the majority of the voters"

onsdag den 18. juni 2008

Marvelous New Material In Esbenland: ASBESTOS!!

Fashion week in Esbenpolis: Young models shows the latest in asbestos dresses

The Ministry of Trade and Forced Labor today announced, that production of an marvelous new material, called asbestos, will start shortly.
The new material will primarily be used as a replacement for woolen cloths, but might also be used for stuffing in pillows and furniture.
There has been raised a few health concerns regarding asbestos, but recent independent studies conducted at the University of Esbenstadt, shows that less then 8 out of 10 suffers any life treating health issues after two years of exposure to the material.
As one of the experts happily puts it:"Asbestos is exactly as safe as our badly maintained Russian RBMK-1000 light water reactors!"

mandag den 16. juni 2008

New Educational Television For Children Of Esbenland!

The Peoples National Broadcasting Agency is happy to announce a new educational series named "The Renegade Bear's Picture Book".

The series will in a fun and easy to understand way teach the young-ones about how unpatriotic individuals are dealt with in a democratic and civilized society.

A scene from the brand new educational TV-Series: The Renegade Bear(middle) along with Unpatriotic Luna(left) are being re-educated by ASKE (Authorized Security Knighthood of Esbenland ) before being send to 30 years of hard physical labor

Renegade Bear(left) along with Enemy-of-the-State Chicken(middle) and Uncollectivistic Duckling(right) are in this scene being dressed up in humiliating dresses as punishment for their unpatriotic behavior

mandag den 9. juni 2008

Let's Work!!

Proud Industrial Heroes at Industrial Plant #0124

Today Esbenland's Labor Union demanded an increase in working hours from 12 to 18 hours daily under the parole "More Work -Less Pay!". Esbenland officials have decided to meet the Proud Workers of Esbenland's demands with immediate effect.

fredag den 6. juni 2008

Esbenland Officals On Fieldtrip To Kolyma

State-Of-The-Art housing facility for counter-revolutionaries. One of the many interesting spots the delegation are visiting

Today a larger delegation of Esbenland goverment officals under the "Administration of Corrective Labor " left for a longer field trip to the gulags of Kolyma. The delegation are going to study how our friends in the former Soviet Union dealt with enemies of the state.
The delegation hopes to find inspiration and get new ideas for the reeducation institutions of Esbenland.

Additional Info

trip to Kolyma is a part of a larger innovation program under "Administration of Corrective Labor Facilities" to exchange ideas and solutions. Later this year the delegation will visit such fine nations as Union of Myanmar and Democratic People's Republic of Korea